Moonless Life
by KupoWrath
Summary: Harry’s lost everything, and secludes himself far from his pain. Can he ever open up to his real love, especially when there’s a jealous vampire waiting in the wings? Jacob/Harry
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I have gone over this chapter and rewrote a chunk of it. Also, I am looking for a beta.

**Pairings:** Jacob/Harry, Edward/Harry (N/C), Bella/Angela, Emmet/Rosalie, Japser/Alice, Carlise/Esme, Leah/Jacob (One-sided), mentions of Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny and Draco/Harry

**Warnings:** **Foul Language… Major Character Death… Non-Consensual… Violence… Depression… Character Bashing…**

**Summary:** _Harry's lost everything, and secludes himself far from his pain. Can he ever open up to his real love, especially when there's a jealous vampire waiting in the wings? Jacob/Harry_

_**Flashbacks**_

_Parseltoungue_

_**It was chaos. Dead bodies strewn everywhere, people screaming in pain, or for death. Death knew no limits, as there were children and adults, centaurs and elves, evil and good beings lying dead upon the cold, hard ground. A deadly fire whipped around the grass, burning everything in sight. The school once known as Hogwarts was nothing more than rubble now.**_

_**The only things that were left standing are actually two humans, or as close to humans as they could be. A young boy with wildly disheveled raven hair with haunted green eyes, and a snake-like man with glowing red eyes. Wands were held at point, green clashing with red as they attempted to stare the other down.**_

_**Nearby there were the bodies of the young man's closest friends and lovers. One with bushy, blood soaked hair was lying across a jagged rock. Another young man with freckles and dirty red hair was dismembered from the waist down. One with white blonde hair and pale skin was laying still and silent in death. Worst of all was a young girl with long red hair placed, almost gently, out of the way.**_

_**The raven haired boy's eyes filled with grief and hatred as his magic washed over him completely. Losing control of who he was, he cast magic, dark and powerful, that even the Dark Lord himself did not know. A horrible, piercing scream echoed around him as the wind whipped up, lifting the Dark Lord high into the air. Then suddenly, it was done.**_

_**The lifeless body of the former Dark Lord fell to the ground, his eyes dull and empty.**_

_**It was over.**_

Finally coming back to himself, Harry stared at Voldemort's body with a sense of satisfaction, though not enough. Knowing what was awaiting his investigation of the scene; he closed his eyes and didn't dare open them.

He had to leave.

He couldn't stay here. There was nothing left for him. That _bastard_ took everything from him. Unshed tears stinging his eyes, he quickly apparated to Gringotts, the Wizarding bank. Diagon Alley was in a chaos of celebration and mourning.

It was over.

He peered around the vast Marble area, looking for his goblin. Ah, there he was. "Meathook!" A short, squat goblin turned around and beckoned Harry forward.

"We have everything ready for you Mr. Potter." Meathook said as he led Harry to his office. "As we have discussed it, I have finalized the purchase on the home and motorcar you have specified." He paused, as if unsure of himself. "How many will be venturing forth?"

Harry bit back his tears and anger. Meathook didn't know, couldn't know. Taking a deep breath, Harry closed his eyes. "Just one, Meathook."

The goblin froze momentarily, shocked to find that not one other of his friends had survived. Meathook pulled himself out of it and nodded his concurrence.

"Of course Mr. Potter." He paused, looking down at Harry's file. "I just need your signature and blood on these forms." He placed four papers down on the desk in front of Harry. The Wizard picked up a quill and began signing as Meathook explained.

"This one is to grant you dual Wizarding citizenship, that way you may join the wizarding community if you so choose. This one here will grant you dual muggle citizenship, so you won't have to worry about temporary green cards or deportation." He paused for a moment as Harry signed both papers. "This one is to emancipate you in both wizard and muggle law, that way you will be responsible for yourself, no one can tell you what to do from here on."

Harry signed the third one with a bit of a flourish. Boy was he happy about this one. No more "magical guardians" or even worse, muggle ones. "The last one will transfer your vault funds to a secure Gringotts in America, along with a large chunk into a muggle bank."

Nodding, Harry signed the final one. He accepted a clean needle from Meathook and pricked his finger, dripping blood on each of the papers. Absentmindedly he stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked it til the blood stopped.

"Perfect. How will I be arriving?" MeatHook turned and filed the papers away in a magical filing cabinet that disappeared as soon as he closed the drawer.

"By Portkey Mr. Potter. Here, it is ready for you." The goblin pulled out an old hairbrush, and a large duffle bag that already had all of Harry's possessions pack away, under shrinking charms of course, and extended it to Harry.

Nodding, Harry gulped away his nausea and grabbed the port key.

"We wish you good luck Mr. Potter and may you finally be happy." With a magical and sickening tug behind his navel, Harry saw his world spin away before his eyes. His last view being of a grimly smiling goblin.

**A/N:** There you have it, the prologue of my story! Review and let me know what you think! I know it's short, but it's just a prologue.

**~Kupo~**


	2. Sound of Madness

**A/N:** wow guys.. I got such a crazy response to my first chapter! It has 1282 hits, 35 faves, and 131 alerts… but only 13 reviews… Come on and review people! Even if it's only "Cool". Though I do prefer actually sentences, in a paragraph form XD FEED THE AUTHOR!

And thank you everyone for reviewing!

As for the questions, no, it will not be a threesome! It's even BETTER than a threesome!

**Disclaimer:** I apparently forget to put this in the first chapter… so… No, I don't own. Yes, I wish I did, and no, I don't have enough money to buy it. Now that I've gone over the new bed I want… I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight, or even That 70's show.

**Pairings:** Jacob/Harry, Edward/Harry (N/C), Bella/Angela, Emmet/Rosalie, Japser/Alice, Carlise/Esme, Leah/Jacob (One-sided), mentions of Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny and Draco/Harry

**Warnings:** **Foul Language… Major Character Death… Non-Consensual… Violence… Depression… Character Bashing…**

**Summary:** _Harry's lost everything, and secludes himself far from his pain. Can he ever open up to his real love, especially when there's a jealous vampire waiting in the wings? Jacob/Harry_

_**Flashbacks**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

"..You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses, and my foot's lookin' for a room!"

With a groan, Harry grabbed the remote and turned off the telly. Didn't that guy, Blue was it? Anyway, didn't he know how impossible it is to put a foot up their ass? Shaking his head, he pried himself up off the couch and stretched, the muscles in his back popping loudly.

A few moments later found him in the kitchen, sipping at a glass of water.

He never realized how lonely he could be. Tapping his fingers lightly on the counter, Harry looked around him impeccably clean house. He had to stay busy, distracted.

Sighing in heavy frustration, Harry began to climb the steps to go upstairs. His soft hand lay gently on the deep mahogany banister. The smooth coldness beneath his fingers made him shiver slightly.

"_**Harry!" Suddenly a blur of red tackled him, causing him to grip the cool mahogany banister of one of the many flights of stairs at Hogwarts. Smiling, Harry shook his head. **_

"_**Ginny! You're going to hurt the both of us!" Chuckling throatily, Harry caught her by the wrist as her foot sunk into the missing staircase. He tugged her up, underestimating her weight and sending her forward into his arms.**_

_**He could count every freckle on her face, and the exact shade of the blush that covered her cheeks. Harry's own cheeks grew warm as he stared at her beauty.**_

_**He never noticed the cool silver eyes that glared from across the way, swimming in jealousy.**_

Harry's breath hitched as he yanked his hand away from the banister as if burned. Holding his fingers in his hand, he stared at them a long moment.

"You're pathetic Potter." Growling in annoyance of himself he continued up to his bedroom.

He needed to write. Writing was the only way he could think of things and not completely die inside. Though he felt as if he was already there. You could move around and still be dead.

Finally stepping into his bedroom at the top of the steps he glanced around at his huge burgundy four-poster bed. That was pretty much his room. There was a small black nightstand next to his bed and a wardrobe on the opposite wall.

"I need more furniture…" Rolling his eyes he walked over to his nightstand and grabbed his journal. Harry flung himself on the bed, grabbed his pen and opened up his book.

Then the words just started coming out.

_Yeah, I get it,  
You're an outcast.  
Always under attack.  
Always coming in last,  
Bringing up the past.  
No one owes you anything.  
I think you need a shotgun blast,  
A kick in the ass,  
So paranoid. . .  
Watch your back!!_

_Oh my, here we go..._

Pausing briefly, Harry looked up and glanced out his window. Rain poured down the pane, shooting across the window. Through it he could see the blurry outline of the trees. He watched the droplets meld together and fall down the window, and drip off into the abyss.

Turning back to his work, he chewed his pen briefly.

_Another lose cannon gone bi-polar  
Slipped down, couldn't get much lower.  
Quicksand's got no sense of humor.  
I'm still laughing like hell.  
You think that by crying to me  
Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe,  
You've been infected by a social disease.  
Well, then take your medicine._

Was he crazy? He was pretty sure he was. Hell, after what he'd been through, who wouldn't be crazy?

He chuckled to himself dryly. It was funny wasn't it? The papers always said he was loony, and he was finally starting to believe it.

_I created the Sound of Madness.  
Wrote the book on pain.  
Somehow I'm still here,  
To explain,  
That the darkest hour never comes in the night.  
You can sleep with a gun.  
When you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself?_

Why couldn't he just die in the final battle along with everyone else? Why did he have to be alone to suffer for the rest of his life? It wasn't fuckin fair!

_I'm so sick of this tombstone mentality,  
If there's an afterlife,  
Then it'll set you free.  
But I'm not gonna part the seas  
You're a self-fulfilling prophecy.  
You think that crying to me,  
Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe,  
You've been infected by a social disease.  
Well, then take your medicine._

Was feeling sorry for himself the best way to cope though? Ginny would be so disappointed in him for wallowing like this. Harry roughly swiped away a stray tear. Why the fuck was he so damn weak!

_I created the Sound of Madness.  
Wrote the book on pain.  
Somehow I'm still here,  
To explain,  
That the darkest hour never comes in the night.  
You can sleep with a gun.  
When you gonna wake up...  
When you gonna wake up and fight..._

Maybe it was time to be a person again. He'd been hiding in this small town for 3 months now. People had tried to come by and say hi, but he blew them off at every turn. What did he owe them anyway? He just wanted to die alone.

_**A brightly sparkling smile shone from halfway across the Great Hall as Ginny waved enthusiastically to Harry. Returning the bright smile, Harry quickly crossed the hall and sat down next to her. **_

_**People around them whispered to each other and scooted away as he sat down. Frowning, Harry glanced around for the nearest Daily Prophet. What were they saying now? As he finally saw one and grabbed it, he noticed Ginny worry her lower lip.**_

'_**Crazy Potter Boy's Newest Scandal!' **_

"_**It has been reported that the crazed Boy-Who-Lived has sunk his fingers into another innocent and is trying to corrupt the weak. Ginny Weasly, from the upstanding Weasly family has been pulled under his evil spell. Only time will tell—"**_

"_**Harry! Don't read the crap!" Ginny yanked the Prophet out of his hands and cast a quick Incendio charm on it, burning it to a crisp. **_

"_**Harry, promise me something." She paused and looked at him to make sure she had his attention. "Never give up. No matter what is said, or what happens, never give up. Don't give up on life Harry. I can see it in your eyes. Don't give up on me, Harry." **_

_**She pleadingly looked into his eyes. "Don't give up fighting Harry."**_

_**Smiling sadly, Harry quietly promised. "I won't Ginny…"**_

_  
When you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself?_

_

* * *

  
_

**A/N:** Drop me a line and tell me what you think! Kinda short, but it's a filler, the next chapter introduces some Twilight Characters!

Also I need a beta! Let me know if you're interested, and let me know why I should pick you!

**Song: Sound of Madness by Shinedown**

~Kupo~


	3. Colt 45

**A/N:** First off, To Potterfan87, Ill update when I can and want to. If that happens to be once every few months, or even years, cough cough, then so be it. I have a real life with real responsibilities. Get over it. Though expect more updates soon. My muse has been pelting ideas at me!

Thank you for the reviews everyone! Sorry about the long update times, but life has been hectic lately.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight, nor do I own the song .45 by Shinedown

**Pairings:** Jacob/Harry, Edward/Harry (N/C), Bella/Angela, Emmet/Rosalie, Japser/Alice, Carlise/Esme, Leah/Jacob (One-sided), mentions of Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny and Draco/Harry

**Warnings:** **Foul Language… Major Character Death… Non-Consensual… Violence… Depression… Character Bashing…**

**Summary:** _Harry's lost everything, and secludes himself far from his pain. Can he ever open up to his real love, especially when there's a jealous vampire waiting in the wings? Jacob/Harry_

_**Flashbacks**_

_**

* * *

**_

A young beautiful girl with spiky hair frowned, her brow furrowed in thought. This was so confusing! Glimpses. She kept getting glimpses of a future that did not make sense. She huffed to herself and crossed her arms over her chest.

A sleek male arm drifted over her shoulders and settled into place accompanied with a face full of worry.

"Is everything ok Alice?" The man enquired. Alice sighed and shook her head.

"No Jasper. I just… Can we lose our powers over time?" She looked at her husband imploringly. She didn't know what she would do if her powers disappeared. They were a part of her.

Jasper frowned, also thinking about it. It was unheard of. The Volturi has been around for years and all their powers were as powerful as ever.

"I don't think so. What have you been seeing?" He moved his arm down to retrieve her hand in comfort.

Alice frowned again and looked forward, staring into the televisions' blank screen. She hunched forward slightly on the couch, holding his hand.

"Just glimpses. I don't get it!" She quickly released his hand and stood up, pacing the beautifully decorated living room. Their mother, Esme, really had an eye for this.

"I see a young man with wild dark hair and violent green eyes." She paused in her movements and closed her eyes, as if wishing for another vision of the beauty. "And I can feel immense loneliness and loss." She glanced over at her husband. "I've never felt anything from my visions before."

Jasper stood as well and moved next to Alice. "We'll have to ask Carlisle when he gets home. I have no idea why your powers would be changing." He paused. "What else have you seen?"

Alice worried her lower lip for a moment before answering. "I see Edward. But not our Edward." She moved back to the couch and plopped down very human like. "He seemed, possessed." She paused for a moment, weighing her words. "He was… Like a monster." She said quietly. Alice knew how badly Edward thought he was a monster, and she did not want him to overhear.

He was supposed to be out hunting, but you never knew when he would come back.

Jasper looked surprised as he resumed his seat next to Alice. "Definitely need to talk to Carlisle, when Edward is not around." They both stayed silent for a long moment, as they thought. Jasper could feel the worry rolling of Alice in waves, and they still had about three hours before their sire came home.

She needed a distraction.

Jasper smirked and quirked his brow, his arm moving around her shoulder once more, pulling her close. "There is no point worrying yourself to death." Alice chuckled at the absurdness of that statement. Then she froze for a moment as a vision took her. A sly grin crossed her features as she silently took his hand and they raced up the stairs.

* * *

Harry stood in front of his two story house. He could never call it a home. Home is where the heart is, after all, and his heart, figuratively anyway, stopped beating long ago.

Sentiments of fresh air crossed his mind as he was pelted with cold rain drops. A mirthless laugh escaped his lips, and he turned and headed toward the trees.

"Rain, rain…" He faded off. Harry didn't really want the rain to go away. It was a reflection of the inside. His unruly black hair was plastered against his forehead. He really did enjoy the rain. He would say love, but he hadn't loved anything since…

He shook his head and growled angrily at himself. This was not the way to keep his mind off that particular subject!

Harry let his feet lead him as his mind wandered between no thoughts and dangerous ones. The storm worsened as the skies darkened, only to be lit up again by a streak of lightening. He couldn't find the energy to be afraid, or even worried. Noticing a tree that had fallen over, he went over to it and laid on it, facing up into the oncoming rain.

Perhaps he would be swept up in the wind. If only he were that lucky.

* * *

Edward winced as he rubbed his temples. Something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Lately he had been hearing things on a seemingly higher frequency. He couldn't explain it. He couldn't understand what people were thinking unless he concentrated! Normally this would be a blessing, but it left a huge ringing in his head. It was either purposefully listen to people's thoughts, something he had been trying not to do his entire undead existence, or suffer an excruciating headache.

Definitely a hard choice, but what was causing it?

He would find out if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

Bella was bored and irritated. That was never a good combination. She was so sick and tired of all these people gossiping about her and trying to be her friend because she was the 'new girl'. Not to mention Edward was being so cryptic these days, she didn't know whether to hug him or hit him. Sighing in frustration, she grabbed her raincoat and threw it on. She had to get out of the house. Jessica Stanley kept calling her, asking her opinion about dresses and boys and oh what did she think of that new movie with the hot actor and blah blah blah.

Charlie wasn't home yet so she jotted a note that said she was going for a walk, just in case he got back first. The chief of police was bound to be worried. That was another thing that drove her crazy, her overprotective father. Granted, she enjoyed someone doting on her, but she was a teenage girl. She needed space.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle so she decided to brave the woods. Edward had told her not to go in the woods alone, it was too dangerous, too many roots to trip on, and too many animals to eat you. She smirked slightly to herself, thinking of the way Edward worded that. She new Edward and his family were vampires. She had figured it out almost right after he saved her from the van that was going to crush her. She had been trying to drop hints for weeks that she knew what he was. They were dating, yes, but he put so much space between them, worried she would find out their secret. Ha.

Bella had a secret of her own, she was a squib. Her mother was a witch, but left the Wizarding world right before meeting Charlie. There was a war going on and she wanted no part of it, so she hung up her wand, so to speak, and embraced life as a muggle. Renee, her mother, never told Charlie about the Wizarding world, but she did tell Bella.

Renee never saw Bella show any kind of magical ability, so she assumed that her daughter was a squib. They never tested her though, but Renee did let Bella read her secret stash of books, from her schooling and such. Her mother was quite the bookworm!

Suddenly, Bella was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a voice talking. She paused and stilled, staying silent and listening. No, they were singing.

_Send away for a priceless gift,_

_One not subtle, one not on the list._

_Send away for a perfect world,_

_One not simply so absurd._

_In these times, of doing what you're told,_

_Keep these feelings, no one knows._

_Whatever happened, to the young mans heart?_

_Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart._

Bella quietly moved forward. Most thought her to be clumsy, but she had a hidden grace. She could be sneaky when she wanted something, and right now she wanted to know who that beautiful but sad voice belonged to.

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a .45,_

_Swimming through the ashes of another life. _

_No real reason to accept the way, things to change,_

_Staring down the barrel of a .45._

The voice grew louder the closer she got, until finally, she could see a sheen of raven black hair splayed across the bark of a tree and a young boy laying on said tree. She stayed silent and crouched behind her own tree, those hers was still standing tall and listened.

_Send a message to the unborn child,_

_Keep your eyes open, for awhile._

_In a box high up on the shelf, _

_Left for you no one else._

_There's a piece of a puzzle known as life,_

_Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight._

_Whatever happened, to the young mans heart?_

_Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart._

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a .45,_

_Swimming through the ashes of another life._

_No real reason to accept the way, things to change,_

_Staring down the barrel of a .45._

Who hurt him this bad? She could tell that this boy was very cynical, and sad. Her heart wrenched as the song shifted.

_Everyone's pointing their fingers…_

_Always condemning me._

_Nobody knows what I believe…_

_I believe._

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a .45,_

_And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life._

_There is no real reason to accept the way, things to change,_

_Staring down the barrel of a .45…._

His voice faded off and she could see the tell-tale signs of tears down his cheeks. Bella decided to give him a moment to collect himself. She knew that she would be embarrassed if someone caught her singing or crying, though she wasn't sure which would be more embarrassing.

After a long moment, the boy sat up and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. She took this as her cue to show herself. She silently back-tracked a short way, then walked back towards him, this time making noise.

The boy stood quickly and brandished a stick in her direction. She hadn't wanted to startle him.

"Hello?" She called out. Maybe if he knew she was human he would relax, which he did marginally when he could finally see her.

"My name is Bella." She finally stopped walking when she was a few feet from him. She noticed the stick had disappeared; perhaps he dropped it, not that it would have been much protection anyway.

The boy looked at her as if he was dissecting her, studying her carefully.

"Harry." Was all he said. She smiled. It was better than nothing. He didn't look like he wanted to socialize, but she would make him!

"Well Harry, it's nice to meet you!" She moved a little closer to him, being careful not to startle him as if he was a squirrel.

"Likewise." He ground out. She could tell he didn't mean it.

Harry glared at her as she continued to talk. Couldn't she tell that he just wanted to wallow in the drizzle?

"You look young… ish." She added as he looked angrier. "I haven't seen you around town or in school. Are you very new?"

He shook his head. "I've been here for about three months." He instantly snapped his mouth shut. Why the hell did he answer her? He was just going to stand here and glare at her until she walked away. What was going on?

"Oh! Well how old are you? I'm just curious." She smiled again, taking yet another step closer to him.

"17." He looked angry at himself. This Bella woman… Why was he compelled to answer her questions?

"Why did you move here?" She tilted her head slightly to the side as she made it next to him, and then sat down on the previously occupied fallen tree.

"There was no one left back home." He frowned and resigned himself to his fate, sitting down as well. Harry wanted to walk away, to not answer her questions, but something made him stay. Something made him want to talk to her.

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I see. What happened?" She knew that these questions were crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed, but he seemed to want to talk, which shocked her to her core. She thought he would walk off and she would have to try to find him again, but instead here he was, spilling his story to a complete stranger.

"They all either died, or turned on me. Calling me a nutter, blaming me for their misfortunes." Harry spoke with a beautiful British accent that made Bella blush slightly, though the words just made her frown.

"So that's what the song was about." She muttered, more to herself than anyone.

Harry stiffened as he heard this. No one was meant to hear his music ever again. It was to be hidden from the world, just as he was supposed to be. Then again, here he was, talking to this muggle girl. He still did not know why. Perhaps she possessed some kind of power to keep him here and talking? He almost laughed at the absurdity in that.

Bella sighed and looked up, letting the drizzle of rain patter against her face.

"I love the rain." She paused, wondering how he took the subject change.

"I do too." Harry looked at her, surprised as she closed her eyes and let the rain wash over her. She reminded him a bit of Luna. His heart clenched painfully as he thought those very words. Another friend he couldn't save.

"Well Harry. It was very nice to meet you, and I would like to do it again." She knew she had to slow this down or he wouldn't talk to her again.

"It is up to you, but I will be in this same spot at the same time tomorrow." She paused and glanced at him, her eyes taking in his features. He had the greenest eyes she had ever seen. They were like pools of emeralds, but they were also filled with so much pain that you could drown in them if you weren't careful. His eyes were set in a soft and beautiful face with angular features that made him gorgeous in a way completely different from Edward.

"I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully Harry." With that she stood and tore her gaze from his face. Without looking back she walked back the way she came with a new face swimming in her thoughts. He had so much hurt and sadness in him for him to be so young. She wanted to know who he was and everything about him.

Harry watched her leave, stunned. He had told her much more than he should have, and the worst part was, he had no idea why. Slowly he got up and began walking back to his house.

But he would be there tomorrow to try and find out.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, so this chapter is longer than the previous, though still short. I'm already working on the next chapter, so the update won't be too long. My new goal is to update once a week on this story, then after this is done, go back and look over my other stories to see what I'll be doing with those.

Now review and tell me you haven't given up on me! The more reviews I get, the faster I update. So hit that review button and drop me a line.

~Kupo~


End file.
